After suffering periods of intense anxiety for over 20 years freedom has come at last from this living hell. Now as a result of the hard work and resilience I can help others to embark on healing journey for themselves.
I guess my life with anxiety started in my childhood. I lived in a traumatic environment as my mother suffered with Bi- Polar disorder so this created a lack of stability and constant uncertainty as to how I could relate to her. I experienced her going in and out of hospital most of my childhood. 
It was not until later in my life that my own anxiety took hold. My first recollection of feeling anxious was at boarding school during my A- level examinations when I started suffering with insomnia. This really affected my results and was my first experience of feeling real panic and worry.
Boarding school had been a traumatic period for me as I was constantly teased and bullied and I am sure this was contributing to my growing anxiety.
I did manage somehow to get into University despite my poor grades and get a 1st class honours degree. University life was my most anxiety free and chilled out period of my life.
It was later in life that my periods of intense anxiety emerged coupled with depression. I constantly feared that as my mother was ill it was logical that I would suffer the same. During these periods of depression/ anxiety in the 1990’s. I was unable to work for long periods of up to a year and it did seem like a living hell at the time with months of not sleeping and constant worry about how I would get through each day. I was on an amazing cocktail of antidepressants and tranquilisers at that time.
I did recover eventually and hoped that was the end of being unable to live a normal life. It was not until 2005 that suddenly my intense anxiety returned with a vengeance and lasted for 3 years before I was able to really get control of my life back.
I experienced nights without sleep. I also regular panic attacks which were traumatic. I was constantly smoking and this triggered my panic attacks and despite this I lit up another cigarette. I dreaded being alone in my house and also dreaded going out. I felt trapped and reluctant to do anything. Making a cup of tea was a challenge and doing simple housework like hoovering seemed like an impossibility. I was unable to relax and watch my favourite TV programmes as the anxiety made me feel like I needed to be on the move all the time. The anxiety was a 24-hour experience with no escape and I did at that time feel like ending it all as it a was such a constant nightmare but somehow found strength to say no. I did become a burden to others as I needed constant support and it cost me some friendships. I did feel so cut off from everybody and locked into this vicious spiral of thoughts and feelings. During this time, I did not understand what was going on, what I needed to do, or how I was feeling but I knew I wanted to stop feeling so worried, mind racing, not switching off to sleep, over analysing everything, and feeling powerless to escape.
This whole experience was a period when I felt in prison, unable to function as a normal human being, with no idea of how I could change it. Now 10 years later having developed a strong spiritual faith and learnt some amazing ways of dealing with my anxiety. I am in a totally different place now. I embarked on a healing journey which is still ongoing learning how to relax, accept my feelings and be with them. I undertook training in various healing modalities which now underpin my life.
I saw that my painful journey was to enable me to go onto help other people overcome similar problems. Everyone’s journey is different and unique to them, but we are all able create the life we want. We may need help to do that but I have proved that it’s possible to go from what seemed an endless nightmare to creating stability in my life. I now embark on a journey to offer the skills I have to assist others to change their lives. I cannot get those years of my life back but I can use my insights and experience to help others.
If people have anxiety or anxiety related issues are affecting them and feel the need for help please contact me at Springtree Therapies and we can discuss ways I may be able to help. My journey as a healer is unfolding now and I am so happy to offer my services in assisting people on their journey.
Roy Gough
www.springtreetherapies.co.uk
springtreetherapies@gmail.com Tel 07817979493